


A Single Step in the Right Direction

by thinlizzy2



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Future Fic, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, M/M, Past Tony/Pepper - Freeform, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 09:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18892252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/pseuds/thinlizzy2
Summary: The year is 2032, and Peter's moved on.  He really has.  But when he has no other choice but to ask Tony Stark for help, he reaches out and ultimately discovers something that Tony learned long ago: there are some things you can never get over and some people that you can never truly walk away from.However, that's not necessarily a bad thing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meynara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meynara/gifts).



It had been a wild, foolish, spur of the moment decision, and even now Peter Parker couldn’t say for certain if it had morally been the right one or not. He had honestly known, after a full decade of being Spider-Man, that his body’s biological and chemical make-up was largely unmapped territory. He had been lucky that the spider’s venom had given him his powers rather grotesquely mutating him or even killing him outright. He didn’t know why that was or what had made him special, but he did understand that what had happened to him was a best-case scenario considering the bizarre cocktail that his blood had become. 

 

But when he’d arrived at the hospital and seen his aunt May lying there - pale and still, broken and blood - surrounded by doctors and nurses using words like ‘lethal’, ‘fatal’, ‘rare’ and ‘transfusion’, he had known he had no real choice. He couldn’t let her die like that. Peter's beloved aunt, his only family, couldn’t end her life as just another victim of the blind hairpin turn on the I-26. So he’d signed the paperwork and rolled up his sleeves and begged the medics to do everything they could to save her life. 

 

And in doing so, he’d possibly doomed her to a far worse death. 

 

He watched her through the glass window. She was in an isolation room and not allowed visitors, even though Peter knew that what she had couldn’t hurt him. He was the only other carrier. The room was kept in darkness; she couldn’t tolerate light. No one else could have seen anything at all, but for Peter’s heightened senses it wasn’t particularly difficult to find May in the gloom. 

 

It was the looking at her that was hard. May was deathly pale; blue veins bulged at her temples. She was constantly grinding her teeth; Peter could see the joints straining in her jaw and he wondered if he should tell a nurse that she was probably going to break some teeth unless they somehow intervened. Her hair was soaked with sweat but she still trembled uncontrollably as though she was freezing. Every time one of the monitors in the room beeped or whirred, she would flinch as if the noise was causing her pain. She was in restraints, tied to her bed to keep her from hurting herself, but her hands were constantly in motion; her fingers flexed and bunched and darted from side to side as if trying to pull themselves off of her body. 

 

 _Like spider’s legs_ , Peter thought. He couldn’t hold back a shudder. 

 

“Mr. Parker?” 

 

At the doctor’s voice, May arched off the bed, her mouth open in a silent scream. The doctor didn’t react; she couldn’t see her through the darkened window, but Peter ached for his aunt. He nodded and led the doctor away so that her voice wouldn’t hurt May’s new ultra-sensitive hearing. 

 

He liked Dr. Wu; out of all the people who were now treating May he thought she might be the best. When May had reacted the way she had to the transfusion, she had been the first one who he had trusted with his secret. She’d reacted like a woman of science should: asking questions, taking notes, adjusting her expectations and forming new hypotheses. If she’d blamed him for May’s condition, she hadn’t said so. 

 

Peter was grateful for that. He blamed himself enough. 

 

Dr. Wu looked exhausted now. “Mr. Parker... I’m so sorry. It’s not easy for me to tell you this, but I’m afraid we’re out of ideas. The toxin in your aunt’s blood stream is proving very difficult to isolate and we haven’t been able to clear it through dialysis. We tried another transfusion of non-contaminated blood, hoping to slow things down, but the... spider-venom seems to transform it instantly. Like I said before, she's got quite a rare blood type; we can't risk any more of our supply to see if this keeps happening. She’s not responding to any pharmaceutical solutions we’ve been able to come up with, and I’m concerned that whatever’s happening to her is getting faster rather than slower. This appears to be outside of our ability to treat.” 

 

It was nothing that Peter hadn’t been expecting, but the news still hit him like a punch to the stomach. He nearly doubled over. 

 

Dr. Wu went on. “Maybe a specialist in meta-humans might have more success. Do you know how to reach Bruce Banner?” 

 

“He’s off-world.” Banner had been Peter’s first idea once he realized what was happening to May, but Clint Barton had confirmed that the scientist hadn’t even been in the solar system for over a year. Peter’s other idea, the Princess Shuri, had gently explained that although she would be happy to treat May if Peter could get her to Wakanda she couldn’t risk an international act of war by defying the UN’s travel sanctions on her family. “There’s no one else.” 

 

The doctor nodded. “We’ll try to keep her as comfortable as we can then. And we’ll keep running tests; we might hit on something. But I think going forward... our priorities should be containment and pain management. Do you understand that?” 

 

Peter managed a nod. 

 

He managed to stay on his feet until Dr. Wu left to continue her rounds. Then he sank to the floor, and let the despair wash over him. His aunt May – his fiercest defender and his closest friend – was going to die in pain because of a stupid, selfish choice that Peter himself had made. The horror of it was overwhelming. He hadn’t felt this awful in years, not since... 

 

His eyes opened wide. There was possibly one last person who could help. 

 

He hadn’t spoken to Tony Stark in years; he’d promised never to try to contact him again. But his sensitive hearing could pick up on May’s keening sobs even through the walls of her room halfway down the hallway, and he knew he had to try.


	2. Chapter 2

Peter had forgotten how quickly things got done when Tony Stark was involved. Perhaps his old mentor’s influence had dimmed a bit since his regeneration and his self-imposed exile from most of society. His ex-wife, Pepper, was the public face of Stark Industries now. But money didn’t seem to care how well-known the person spending it was or wasn’t. So in roughly the same amount of time it had taken Peter to get May a cup of lime Jello, Tony Stark had managed to privately hire Dr. Wu and several of the hospital’s best nurses, charter a plane to fly May to a secret lab he apparently kept functional just because, arrange to move specifically-needed staff and supplies into that lab, and make Peter feel like an awkward teenager with a hopeless crush all over again. 

 

The longest part had been getting in touch with Tony again to begin with. Peter had emailed every address he had for the man and called and texted all his numbers several times. He had finally resolved to let Tony’s last known cell phone just ring until the batteries went dead when he had finally answered, sounding so exhausted and wary that if Peter hadn’t been in such a dire situation he was pretty sure his heart would have broken over it. “Kid, I told you, I died. I’m dead; there was a funeral, and I’m sticking with that. So that means there’s no point in checking in.” 

 

Peter knew there was no point in trying to assure Tony that the Infinity Stones must have brought him back for a reason. There was equally little point in reminding him not to call Peter ‘Kid’. They’d been through all of this before. So instead he just cut to the chase. “It’s May. She’s going to die and it’s all my fault.” 

 

It had been years, but there had once been a time when Tony Stark had known Peter better than just about anyone. Peter was counting on him remembering what May meant to him, and on that still mattering. There was a long pause and then a soft exhalation. “Tell me what needs to happen to make that stop.” 

 

And now, here they were. Peter’s degree was in photography and journalism; he’d given up science long ago. It had been a long time since he’d had to give biology or medicine much thought. But Tony seemed to take it for granted that Peter would still be able to make himself useful in a lab. So he helped prepare May for the Stark Cryochamber, which Tony explained would both slow down the process and stop her from fucking _feeling_ it all so much. Then he tried to distract himself from the fact that the most important person in his world was slowly dying alone in a freezer by taking notes on everyone’s ideas to keep that from happening. 

 

In the end, two possible ideas sounded best to Peter: introducing nanite technology directly into May’s bloodstream to reverse the damage done by the spider-venom and creating a retro-virus that could co-exist with the venom in her blood and act as a counter to its effects. The team all agreed that both options were better than anything else available, though Wu and the nurses seemed to be more squarely on the retro-virus side. Tony rolled his eyes. “Bio-people. It’s fine; that’s why I wanted you. You’re in charge of viral solutions then; take whatever you need from the lab and my people know you’re in charge and they’re meant to help you. Underoos and I will take care of the nanobots.” 

 

Peter waited until the medical team, heroically stifling their giggles, shuffled off to their newly-designated work area. Then he turned to Tony. “Hey, can I ask you a favor?” 

 

Tony laughed, but there was no real humor in it. “You mean beyond disrupting my whole life, such as it is, to clean up your stupid mistake? Sure, what is it?” 

 

Peter felt his mouth fall open. He almost told Tony to forget it, but something stubborn in him told him to press on. After all, he wasn’t a star-struck teenager anymore. “Could you just not call me Underoos, please? In front of people? I’m twenty-four years old; it’s embarrassing.” 

 

Tony snorted. “Seriously? You’re twenty-four, and you _should_ be twenty-nine. You still live with your auntie; you make your living selling misleading photos of yourself to that Jameson idiot and you haven’t had a date in years. You’re a testament to wasted potential. But a little nickname embarrasses you. Sure, whatever, kid. Peter. _Mr. Parker_. No more Underoos. Got it.” 

 

Peter felt his cheeks glowing crimson. He nodded once in acknowledgement and then turned tail, muttering something about checking May’s vitals. It wasn’t until he was deep into the Cryo, hands shaking on the instruments, that it occurred to him to wonder just how it was that Tony Stark knew so much about his life.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a long time, but settling back into the routines of a lab felt oddly like coming home. Settling up complex experiments, taking copious notes, going back and recalibrating and starting all over again – it all felt surprisingly natural. Peter had honestly thought he’d left all that behind around the last time he’d seen Tony, just as his interests were beginning to shift and change. But maybe some things were innate. It might have even been fun, had it not been for his deeply unpleasant lab mate. 

 

Despite his last few years of inactivity, Tony Stark hadn’t lost any of his scientific brilliance. He and Peter worked in the lab like a well-oiled machine, each one stepping in when needed to tie up loose ends, pick up where the other had left off or extend an idea beyond what either of them would be able to do alone. Anyone watching them would have assumed that they were made to work together and happy to have the chance to do so again. 

 

But every setback or failed test just seemed to cut Tony to the quick. Peter remembered that mistakes and trials were a part of every scientific process, and even though he was deeply worried about May, he knew that nothing would be achieved by allowing the stress to affect him. Tony should have known that too, but most of the errors seemed to make him so angry and self-loathing, like he was personally responsible for not being able to pull the answers right out of the air. The only thing worse than that was the occasions when he decided it was Peter’s fault instead. 

 

 _”Fuck!”_ , Tony swore loudly as they found three prototypes, which had been showing great promise, venom-damaged beyond hope in the lab one morning. He lashed out with one arm, swiping the trays, prototypes and all, onto the floor. “Just fuck everything!” 

 

Peter took a deep breath and did what he could to salvage the scattered pieces. He hoped the fall and impact of landing hadn’t damaged their internal memory drives; they still needed the data their records could provide. He took an extra moment to calm himself down, then forced himself to get back onto his feet and look Tony in the eye. “Listen, I get that you’re frustrated. But it can’t affect our work like this. If there’s something I can do to help-” 

 

“Like what?” Tony’s voice was like a hot blade. “Another virgin sacrifice?” 

 

The cruelty of the taunt made Peter’s head swim. He closed his eyes. And just for a moment, he was eighteen years old again. His hero was back from the dead; damaged and hurting, yes - but alive. He remembered the shock of that first kiss, the way he'd thought he could feel the urgency in Tony's body when they touched and the wet streaks on the other man's face that he'd been half-convinced were tears. And then there had been the dizzy feeling of being literally swept off his feet, the unique heat that could only be caused by skin sliding against skin, the sweet pain of Tony Stark moving inside of him with impossible gentleness. And then he made himself remember the rest of it – the sickening horror of waking up in an empty bed and an empty apartment. He made himself look Tony in the eyes. “That’s not fair.” 

 

Tony nodded at the truth of it. “Nothing’s fair." He looked so tired and so defeated that it made Peter's heart ache. "It’s not fair that I get to be here and better people don’t. It’s not fair that I had to come back to a world where everyone had moved past me and the only thing I could do was open old wounds for them.” He rubbed as his eyes. “It’s not fair that you get superpowers and your aunt, who seems like a perfectly nice lady who’s never hurt anybody, is going to die. But I can’t figure this out, kid. I just can’t. And we’re running out of time.” 

 

Peter reached for Tony’s hand and breathed a sigh of relief when the other man didn’t pull away. In spite of everything, it still felt so amazingly right to touch this man and he decided to just let himself have that. “It’s like I told you, before. I know it’s hard coming back into a world that’s already mourned you but you’re not alone in that. There’s a whole lot of people who could help. _I_ can still help, if you want me to. I want you to want me to. And as for May, I’m not giving up hope yet and you shouldn’t either.” 

 

The slightest hint of a smile flickered over Tony’s face. “What is it with you bright-eyed kids from the Boroughs and your eternal optimism? The universe gives you so much shit, and you just keep on believing things will turn out hunky-dory. Is it something genetic with you, or just some kind of additive in the water?” 

 

The laugh died somewhere in Peter’s throat. He blinked as several ideas began to form in his head. “Wait... that might be it.” 

 

Tony looked at him oddly. “You think someone’s drugging your water? Seriously?” 

 

“No... it’s _genetics_. Like you say, it doesn’t make sense for me to get powers and May to get sick. So there must be something different about one of us, genetically. Some sort of chromosomal abnormality or genetic trait that makes us respond differently to the venom.” 

 

“Makes sense.” Tony shrugged. “But how does that help us?” 

 

“She’s my _aunt_!” 

 

Tony’s eyes widened as he got Peter’s point. “Your actual, biological aunt? Not someone who was married to your uncle?” 

 

“She’s my father’s half-sister.” Peter’s mind was racing. “So there are a lot of variables at play. But if she’s got some dormant genetic quirk that we can activate...” 

 

Tony pressed the button to buzz the medical team. “We’re going to be meeting in the conference room in three minutes. Bring all your notes.” He turned to Peter. “I’ve still got your whole chromosomal structure mapped out from when I was making the suits. It’s a long shot, but it may be the best we have so far.” 

 

Peter nodded. “I’m right behind you.” He kept pace with Tony as the two men raced from the lab.


	4. Chapter 4

“How do you even sleep?” May wrinkled her nose at them over her coffee cup. “I woke up last night because a dust bunny was blowing around under my bed and the sound of it was ridiculous. _Dust._ ” 

 

“There shouldn’t be any dust bunnies.” Tony frowned as he looked down at her blood pressure reading. “I’ll talk to the staff about it.” 

 

May rolled her eyes. “That’s really not the point I was going for. I’m just wondering if I should get earplugs next time I do a CVS run or something.” 

 

“Earplugs help a bit. Noise-cancelling headphones are better.” Peter was sitting at the side of her bed, marveling at the change in her. It didn’t seem at all possible that she’d been so close to death just a week ago. May was still a little bit pale, a little tired-looking. But if someone didn't know what had happened to her, at worst they might think she had a bit of the flu. He took her hand in his. “But mostly it’s just about getting used to it. It takes time and practice.” 

 

May squeezed his hand in return. “I still can’t believe you were going through all this yourself when you were a kid and I didn’t know. It’s all so _weird_. How were you able to keep it hidden?” 

 

Peter shrugged. “I was a weird kid. You were used to weirdness from me. That probably helped.” 

 

He heard Tony try, only semi-successfully, to muffle a laugh. 

 

They left May to finish her breakfast. Once they got back to Tony’s office, Peter looked over the notes Tony had made that morning. “Looks normal,” he remarked. Tony raised an eyebrow and Peter amended his statement. “Okay, not normal, but they’re pretty much what my levels were like after I got bitten, when I got to test them. The temperature is exactly right; I remember that.” 

 

Tony shook his head. “I’m amazed you didn’t spontaneously combust, but okay. I’m glad she seems to be on track. Whatever that means. You know it’s just a matter of time before she starts climbing the walls and being able to throw trucks around though, right? You’re going to need to help her manage that.” 

 

“Once we get home, I’ll take her on a few patrols. I don’t know if she’ll actually want to do the whole suit and secret identity bit but at the very least she should know how her new reflexes work in a crisis. It’ll be easier and safer for her and everyone else if I’m there at first.” 

 

Tony fell silent just long enough for Peter to register it. When he did speak, the casual tone of his voice sounded forced. “You don’t have to wait until you get home. I can build a simulator right here and you can program it for any kind of scenario you want. I had the parts brought in a couple of days ago; I can start putting it together today if you want.” 

 

“It’s okay.” Peter smiled, genuinely touched. “May’s been saying how much she wants to get back to her own bed, and I can only get so much time off work anyway.” 

 

Something closed itself off in Tony’s eyes. “Oh, to be sure. No doubt Jameson can’t run that miserable rag without your input. And let me add, great choice of career. Print journalism in 2032. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just volunteer to be replaced by an app right out of college and spare yourself the trouble?” 

 

These changes in Tony, when they occurred, were so sudden that Peter often had to take a moment to make sure he had really understood what was being said. He wasn’t sure why this one was such a shock though; maybe it was because they had been getting along so well for the last few days. He decided to try to use reason to get back to that more comfortable place. “Look, I _like_ journalism, okay? I don’t know how much you remember of the Trump era, but the media was in a fight for its life and it made me realize-” 

 

“Yes, I’m sure you’re a pillar of the fourth estate. So, go! Go back to work, go back to Queens and go help your auntie cope. It’ll be easy to find time; you do still live with her after all, right?” 

 

“Right!” Peter wasn’t sure why this was the particular thing that pushed him over the edge, but he suddenly saw red. “I live with my aunt, because I love her. And sometimes. Tony, when people love other people they actually _like_ spending time with them. They like being around them. But you wouldn’t know that because you’re Tony Stark and you live all alone and you don’t need or want or love anyone! Never mind that you’ve got a family out there – Pepper and your daughter! Never mind that you’ve got me, still, whether you want me or not! And you’ve always had me, but-” 

 

Peter knew Tony was only kissing him to shut him up. But a part of him just didn’t give a damn. The second he felt Tony Stark’s mouth pressing down on his, his body betrayed him: wrapping his arms tightly around Tony’s shoulders, inhaling his scent and his taste, pressing against him to feel as much of his heat as possible. It wasn’t a gentle kiss – far from it. Tony grabbed him like he was a lifeline, the only thing holding him there on this world. His fingers dug into the back of Peter’s neck; his teeth nearly drew blood. Peter returned his desperation in kind. His blood was on fire, pounding in his head. He’d refused to admit how badly he needed this back in his life until now, but there was going to be no way to deny it again. 

 

He wasn’t sure how long it lasted, or who it was who finally broke it off. He just knew that when it was done his was holding Tony Stark as tightly as he could, their sweaty foreheads pressed against each other and their eyes both open as if they needed visual confirmation of the people they were with. Tony stoked Peter’s cheek with one shaking finger, and finally there was tenderness there. 

 

“Don’t talk about Pepper.” Tony sounded so defeated. “Don’t talk about Morgan. They’re fine. Everyone’s fine, except for one damn idiot.” 

 

Those last words words were like a splash of icy water in Peter’s face. He let go of Tony and stepped back. A million things he could say flooded his mind: protestations, insults, declarations of love. But he was tired, so tired, and there just didn’t seem to be any point any more. So instead he pulled away from Tony, every inch of his skin protesting the loss. And he forced himself to walk away.


	5. Chapter 5

May Parker let out a bit of a holler as she entered their apartment, peeling off her mask and tossing it aside. She grinned at Peter. “Not to downplay the whole great responsibility thing - I get that, really - but that was definitely the most fun I’ve had in a couple of decades.” 

 

Peter smiled back at her, returning her contagious enthusiasm. “You were great. Way better than me on my first couple of times out, to be honest.” It was true. His aunt had been an incredible asset during an intense armed robbery, and she’d still maintained the presence of mind to be long gone before the police or other authorities had noticed her. 

 

May waved her hand the complement away. “You didn’t have anyone showing you the ropes. I’d be lost out there if it weren’t for you.” 

 

Peter shrugged. “Just make sure to take it easy. It takes a little while to understand what your body is capable of now, and what its new limits are.” He couldn’t resist teasing her a little bit. Just remember, you’re not twenty-five anymore.” 

 

May was obviously feeling too good to be insulted. “I know. But I _feel_ like I am though. I’ve got more energy than I’ve had in ages. And it’s not just that. My hair has stopped turning gray. My skin is better. I sleep so well. I just feel... younger, I guess. Is that normal?” 

 

Peter didn’t know. He’d been bitten as a teenager, after all. His experience was so different from hers. 

 

“You should find out,” May suggested. “This spider stuff might be the fountain of youth, for all we know. We could be around for a while, so It could be good to know how it works. After all, if I’ve suddenly got a few more lifetimes coming to me, there’s a lot I’d like to do with them.” 

 

Peter nodded; he’d look into it when he had the time. But right now, he had three freelance projects to complete. He sat down at the computer and opened the article for _Popular Science_. He’d actually been looking forward to working on this one. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told Tony Stark that he liked being a journalist. It hadn’t been his boyhood dream, but it was challenging, valuable work and even aside from providing a decent cover for his Spider-Man activities, he honestly enjoyed it. But the incident with May had made him realize that he did miss science a lot: the satisfaction of the scientific method, the thrill of discovery. So he was looking into ways to combine both of his vocations, and so far he was pleased with the results. 

 

He really would need to investigate what May was saying though. It kept distracting him 

 

There were no guarantees in life, and Peter knew that better than anyone. One day you could be a perfectly normal teenaged kid, and then suddenly a spider bite turns you into a crime-fighting hero. Or you could be alive and breathing one minute, and then someone snaps their fingers worlds away,and the next you're suddenly ashes and dust. Maybe that was why he had really never looked into the effects of his condition on his life expectancy. It had felt presumptuous, in a way. It seemed to be getting ahead of himself to expect anything of a life at all. 

 

But still, the idea was way for intriguing than the pie graph he was meant to be building. What would he do if he had a few lifetimes ahead of him? 

 

Or, the more pressing question, what did he really want to do with however much he had left of this life he was living? A life that he knew had been won for him at no small cost. 

 

He knew the answer. He didn’t want to know it, but he did. He’d known it since the best and worst night of his life, when he was eighteen years old. And now, with everything that had happened, it was getting harder and harder to ignore. 

 

He made one more valiant attempt at the pie graph and then gave it up as a lost cause.

 

After opening his closet, he had to dig pretty deep to find what he was looking for, but once he located the boxes everything was pretty pristine. He'd carefully packed up all the equipment from his past life: his chemistry sets, his microscopes and slides, his spiral notebooks filled with detailed notes, his syringes and test tubes and beakers. Everything was wrapped carefully in tissues and stored in a way that suggested he had known that someday he'd want them again.

 

He plugged in the microscope and pulled on a new pair of rubber gloves. He took a syringe from the box and inserted a fresh needle, double-checking its packaging to ensure that it was still sterile. Then he rolled up one sleeve and got to work.


	6. Chapter 6

It shouldn’t have been as easy as it was to infiltrate Tony Stark’s home, and that really should have been Peter’s first clue that something was wrong. He’d managed to get past the gates with no trouble and find a conveniently open window to swing through, only to find himself face to face with Tony himself. The man whose home he was invading looked equal parts annoyed and amused. He had apparently been watching Peter on several monitors the whole time. 

 

“You’re very, very lucky I already programmed the security sensors not to activate the defenses if an invader has your DNA signature,” Tony informed Peter, as he awkwardly unmasked, still crouched in his landing position on Tony's living room rug. “Otherwise you’d be Spider-Bits right now.” 

 

“Nice to know you care,” Peter hadn’t intended that to sound flip. He meant it entirely. 

 

Tony crossed his arms. “What do you _want_ , Peter?” 

 

It was a complicated question, and Peter wasn’t sure where to start. “I looked up Morgan online. And Pepper. You were right when you said they were fine. Morgan’s starting high school soon. She won the New York State Science Fair last year, in the middle school division. Did you know that? And Pepper’s a huge success, _huge_ , and she’s getting remarried soon; they’re both-” 

 

“I know.” Tony cut him off. “Morgan’s my daughter, and Pepper still means a lot to me. We check in, we talk. I see Morgan whenever I can; I helped her with that project." He gestured to one wall, and Peter realized that several pictures of Morgan Stark were prominently displayed. "I managed not to fuck them up too much in the end.” 

 

“You mean when you left them?” It didn't make sense. If Tony had been so worried about hurting the people he loved, then why hadn't he stayed with them?

 

“I mean when I came back!” Peter could barely believe it, but he would have sworn he saw tears in Tony’s eyes. “Morgan had done her grief counselling and she was doing so well. Pepper had started dating again. They were planning vacations and moving to California and just... living their lives. And then there I was, alive again and in the flesh and complicating everything. Pepper didn’t know what to feel and Morgan started having all these nightmares...” He shook his head hard. “I had to step back; I had to give them some space. It killed me to not be nearer to Morgan, but she needed that. To be all right.” 

 

“I’m all right too.” Peter needed Tony to know that. “Maybe my life’s not everything you and I imagined it would be when I was fifteen. “But I have a good job that I like, and family that I love. I’ve been to space, and I _help_ people, and-” 

 

“I know, kid.” The interruption was surprisingly gentle. “I know you’re fine too.” 

 

“You didn’t think so before.” The memory still stung. “You called me an idiot. The one idiot who isn’t fine.” 

 

“Not you.” Tony shook his head. “You’re not the one.” 

 

It took Peter a few seconds to understand. Comprehension hit him in the face like a villain's fist. “You. You meant you.” 

 

Tony rubbed at his eyes, hard. “Everything was so different, after I came back. I didn’t understand how the Stones had done it, or why. I still don't. What was the point of bringing me back into a world that didn’t need me anymore? My business was in good hands; my daughter was healing. You were graduating, taking on new responsibilities, growing up. There are dozens of superheroes now. All I could do was mess things up, for Pepper and for Morgan. And for this amazing kid that I was so head over heels in love with that I couldn’t resist him even though I knew, I fucking _knew_ by that point, that I was nothing but toxic.” 

 

Peter felt his breath catch in his throat. “Me? You’re... you were in love with me?” 

 

“Nah. The other kid I screwed and then ran away from in the dead of night. What, you didn’t know about him?” It was actually a relief to hear the familiar sarcasm. 

 

“But you didn’t even give us a chance.” All the old hurt came rushing back. “We were together for one night. _One_. And then when I woke up you were gone. You wouldn’t answer my call; you didn’t reply to my messages. I didn’t know what I’d done wrong.” 

 

“It wasn’t you. I was just such a mess. And I knew that if I stayed, I would have messed you up too, and I couldn’t do that. God, I knew it before I even laid a hand on you, but I had thought I would never see you again, for so long, and then we were both there were. Real and living, and you were so damn _there_. And you just trusted me. You didn't ask questions. You didn't want anything except me, and you were so fucking beautiful.” Peter reached out for him, but Tony moved away. “You’re always so beautiful, Peter. And I wasn’t strong enough to say no. It’s why I had to work so hard to push you away, afterwards. I’m still not strong enough now, which is why you have to do it. You have to be the one to leave this time.” 

 

Peter shook his head. “I’m not going to.” 

 

 _”Damn it!”_ Tony’s eyes flashed with anger. I risked everything to give you a second chance! I _died_ to do it! And now you want to throw it all away on some broken old man who wrecks the people he loves most?” 

 

“It’s _my_ second chance.” Peter moved closer to Tony, and this time Tony stood his ground. “It’s _my_ life, however long it lasts. And you know what I found out? It could last a really long time. I don't even know how long; it's totally uncharted territory. Yours too, because let's be honest, there's no way to know if the Infinity Stones plan to just keep bringing you back every time you go. On the other hand, either one of us could die tomorrow and stay dead. Anything's possible.”

 

Tony shook his head. "Sorry, kid. I don't follow. You're going to need to dumb this down for me a bit."

 

Peter doubted that was actually true. He'd seen Tony's hard swallow when he'd suggested his resurrection could reoccur, his flinch at the reminder that Peter could die at any time. But he knew this version of Tony Stark fairly well by now, the Tony Stark who instinctively veered away from getting what it was that he most wanted. Peter could deal with him.

 

"Essentially, what I'm saying is that this is _my_ life. And no matter how long or short it might be, I know what I want to do with it." He leaned in and kissed Tony. It was a soft kiss, a whisper of a touch, but he could still feel Tony tremble against his lips. "I want a chance to spend as much of it as I can with the man I love.” And then he moved away and let Tony make the choice.

 

“Peter...” Tony held up his hands in surrender and then slowly let them settle on Peter's hips. They both moved in closer, as if driven by instinct alone. “I’m warning you now. I’m not going to be able to walk away from you again.” 

 

And then suddenly they were kissing again. It was a hard, passionate kiss, but it wasn’t desperate in the same way it had been in Tony's office. Instead, Tony touched Peter like he was something precious, a priceless treasure that Tony had spent his whole life trying to find. Peter knew just how he felt. He ran his hands lightly over Tony's body, cherishing the feel of him and wanting to get as much of him under his fingertips as possible. He opened his mouth so that he could taste Tony, needing to be filled up with him and surrounded by him and needing to fill him and surround him in turn. 

 

It took an incredible amount of self-control for Peter to pull back. If he hadn't made a promise to himself before he left home, before he even gave himself permission to go, he didn't think he could have done it. But he forced himself to put a few inches between them. “We should go slowly.” He kissed Tony on the side of his mouth so he’d know he wasn’t changing his mind. “It took six years for us to just get back to this point. I’m not sure if we’ll get a second chance.” 

 

Tony laughed softly. “I’m pretty sure this is already our third chance. Or possibly the fourth or fifth. I may have actually lost count.” 

 

Peter laughed too, conceding the point. “Do you think we get infinity chances? It would be fitting.” 

 

“No.” Tony stroked the side of Peter’s face. “Not infinity chances." He groaned. "So you’re probably right. We should take things slowly.” 

 

“It’s not because I think you’re going to hurt me.” Peter hurried to reassure Tony of that. “It’s not because I’m scared. I just think this is worth finally doing right.” He reached out and took Tony's hand in his, lacing their fingers together. Somehow they ended up kissing again, and Peter couldn't help laughing as he pulled back one more time. "Look, I told you I was fine, and I meant it. We can make mistakes, and ultimately I'll still be fine. But I came back here because I want to be better than fine. I deserve that; we both do. And I think that'll take a bit more work than either of us tried to put in last time."

 

He'd spent a long time blaming Tony Stark for hurting him, and he knew that was at least partially justified. But Peter hadn't asked questions when Tony had shown up at his bedroom window, drunk and demanding. He hadn't tried to find out what Tony needed, besides Peter's body, and he hadn't even tried to explain his own needs. He didn't know how differently things might have gone if he had; he just knew he didn't want to make those same mistakes again.

“Yeah. Me too.” And then Tony smiled, and Peter's breath caught in his throat. He'd forgotten how gorgeous that smile was when it was real and sincere and not trying to cover anything up. It made Tony's eyes crinkle up in such a beautiful way; it lit up his whole face from within. It made him look young. It made him look _hopeful_. “So why don’t you call your aunt and let her know where you are so she doesn’t worry? Or hell, she’ll probably worry no matter what, but call her anyway. And then I’d love it if you could stay and talk for for a while.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Meynara for Fandom 5k 2019. Thank you for your requests, and I hope you like what they inspired!


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